Wet - er, Well Checkups

So Micah and Liam had their well checkups at the pediatrician this afternoon - Micah for his 3-year-old visit and Liam for his 15-month-old visit.  It was one of the more interesting hours I've ever spent in the pediatrician's office.  Or that I care to spend, for that matter.
It started off well.  We were actually called back before I was done paying.  That was a first and I was excited that we would potentially not even need the bag of toys that I had thoughtfully brought for their waiting room entertainment.
First it was Micah's turn.  The nurse weighed him in at 33 pounds (64%) and measured him at 37 inches.

The interesting thing about this weigh-in was that the combination of those two statistics made his BMI (Body Mass Index) 79.  Okay, normal is in the 20's somewhere.  Obese is 30 or higher.  So basically, a 79 score means he's off the charts obese and should be hospitalized.  They measured him again and he's actually 39 inches.  Combining his new height measurement with his old weight measurement, and his BMI is actually 27. Whew.  Clearly he was tipping the charts so we narrowly avoided that lecture from the doc.
While I was answering lots of questions about Micah's general health and milestone markers, a naked Liam was running around the area outside of the exam room, waiting for his turn on the scale.  Naturally, he decides to, ahem, christen the office.  Although I know, and was told today, that this happens all the time, I found out that you're still mortified when it's your kid who does the spraying.  The doctor laughed, the nurse cleaned, and I retreated to the exam room to clean Liam.
Then he got his turn on the scale.  The nurse weighed him in at 20 lbs., 14 oz, and measured him at 31.75 inches.

The problem with this particular weight measurement is that it means he is in the 6% for weight.  Which means that he is severely malnourished and in need of medical intervention.  Yeah.  Back to the scale we went. We found out that he's actually 24 lbs., 9 oz.  That means he's in the 48%.  Frankly, I still thought that was a little low, but at least it got us out of a potential second lecture.
Liam goes through the rest of his exam, no problem. Bottom line: he needs less milk and more pureed meat (because he won't eat the real stuff). Otherwise, really healthy and happy.
Micah's exam went pretty well after a few anxious first moments of, "I can't do this!"  (Why he's started saying this when I know he really means, "I don't want to do this!", I don't know.)  Bottom line: he needs a checkup by a pediatric surgeon to see what's happening with his umbilical hernia, which he has had since birth.  It's not a big deal, but I was told today that if it doesn't go away on its own by the time he hits preschool, which he's in, they may need to surgically correct it.  We better do it sooner rather than later because he's already so attached to his belly button and the longer it goes, the more difficult it's going to be to separate him from it.  Let's just hope it still leaves him with an outie.
So I dress the boys again, the nurse comes in and gives them their shots and we're all ready to go. I'm walking out the door carrying Liam and the diaper bag, and what do I hear?  "Mommy, I peed."  Seriously? We christened another room?  This has never happened to me in all the doctor visits we've had in the last three years.  And it happens twice in the same visit?

Mortified. Again.  Mortification continues on a whole other level because I have no extra pants or diapers for him.  Why would I have more than what he took to preschool?  Mother of the year, right here.  This time, two different doctors laugh, the same nurse cleans up the new mess, and we hustle out of there.

Well, not Micah.  He walked out like he was riding a horse.  Wet pants will make you do that.
Our malnourished son.

  Our obese son.

 Thank goodness they're cute.